Understanding the Polyvagal Theory to Navigate Burnout and Find Calm

TL;DR - Because Health Can Be Overwhelming

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The polyvagal theory explains how your nervous system responds to stress and safety. It describes three distinct states: a social and calm state (ventral vagal), a fight or flight state (sympathetic), and a freeze state (dorsal vagal). You can consciously influence these states to promote feelings of peace and connection.

You can work with your nervous system by:

• Moving your body gently and without judgment.
• Using your breath to calm your body’s stress response.
• Activating the vagus nerve through sound and vibration.
• Engaging your senses to feel safe and present.

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If that’s too much to think about, just start with this: 6 minutes of mindful breathing - it’s one of the simplest ways to send a signal of safety to your brain.

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Your Nervous System’s Operating System

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What if you could understand your nervous system as a kind of internal guide? One that quietly maps your safety, steers your daily moods, and influences your ability to connect with others? The polyvagal theory, developed by Dr Stephen Porges, is a framework for understanding how your body and mind react to the world. It’s a way to make complex health science feel usable and empowering, not clinical or intimidating.

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The theory organises our nervous system responses into a hierarchy of three states:

• Ventral Vagal State (Calm and Social): This is where you feel safe, connected, and present. In this state, your heart rate is steady, you breathe easily, and you can engage with others effortlessly. Your body is in a restorative “rest and digest” mode.
• Sympathetic State (Mobilisation): This state is activated when you sense a threat, real or perceived. Your nervous system prepares you to fight or flee, increasing your heart rate and making your breath faster and shallower. In this state, you might feel anxious, angry, or overwhelmed.
• Dorsal Vagal State (Immobilisation): When you feel overwhelmed and cannot fight or flee, the dorsal vagal system takes over. This immobilisation response causes your body to shut down. You might feel numb, disconnected, or completely shut off from the world.

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Your polyvagal system is like your body's threat detection radar. It constantly scans, calculates, and chooses how much energy to give you and where to direct your attention.

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Here’s the kicker: threats to your existence aren’t the only thing that flip the switch on the Polyvagal system. It picks up on everything, from your morning commute to your Teams notifications to whether your partner seems distant at breakfast.

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And unlike your conscious mind, this system doesn't lie. It can't pretend everything's fine when it isn't. It can't push through when resources are depleted. It just responds. Sometimes intelligently, sometimes inconveniently.

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When this radar is calibrated well, you feel grounded, focused, and genuinely resilient. When it's not, you get stuck in patterns that make everything harder than it needs to be.

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The Practice of State Recognition

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Before you can change anything, you need to know where you are. But here's what most approaches get wrong: they tell you to "check in with yourself" without giving you a sense of what to look for.

Deb Dana, author of Anchored, offers a precise method for developing this awareness through either looking outside in or inside out.

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Outside In: Reading Your External Environment

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Start by anchoring yourself in observable reality:

• Where am I right now? (Notice your physical location and the time)
• What's happening around me? (Scan your immediate environment)
• Who else is present? (Include people, pets, even virtual presence)
• What am I actually doing? (Not what you think you should be doing)
• What state does this suggest is active? (Connection, high alert, or shutdown)

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This external scan gives you concrete data points. If you're hunched over your laptop at 11 PM with three coffee cups nearby, that's information about your nervous system state.

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Inside Out: Listening to Your Body's Signals

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Inside-out listening works differently; you start off with understanding your internal sensations:

• What am I sensing physically right now? (Tension, lightness, heaviness, warmth)
• Where do I feel energy moving in my body? (Chest, shoulders, stomach, legs)
• Where does energy feel stuck or absent? (Numbness, disconnection, flatness)
• Do I feel resourced or depleted? (Full tank or running on empty)
• What state is my nervous system telling me about? (Trust what you sense, not what you think you should feel)

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The Recognition Practice

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Set three random alarms throughout your day. When they go off, spend 30 seconds running through these questions with genuine curiosity, without jumping the gun on “fixing” it.

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The goal is to become fluent in recognising your different states. Once you can accurately identify your nervous system state in real-time, the targeted interventions become far more effective.

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A Personalised Toolkit for Regulation

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By engaging in simple, consistent rituals, you can send signals of safety to your body and help it return to a state of calm. Here are some exercises for each of the three states:

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When You're Stuck in High Alert:

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Box Breathing: Four counts in, four counts held, four counts out, four counts held. This specific rhythm sends your nervous system the signal that the emergency is over.

Progressive Muscle Release: Tense your shoulders for five seconds, then let them drop completely. Your body discharges the energy it mobilised for action.

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When You're Stuck in Shutdown:

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Vocal Activation: Humming, singing, or making sustained "ahh" sounds creates vibration that gently activates your vagus nerve and brings you back online.

Temperature Contrast: Cold water on your face or wrists provides just enough stimulation to shift you out of protective numbness without triggering high alert.

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Universal Nervous System Support:

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Micro-movements: Two minutes of gentle movement helps your body recognise that you're safe and capable of response.

Social Connection: Even brief eye contact or physical touch with someone you trust activates your bonding systems.

Morning Light: Natural light in your eyes within the first hour of waking helps regulate the circadian rhythms that stabilize your entire nervous system. [Read on about Morning Light here]

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The Intelligence Upgrade

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Here's what changes when you become fluent in your nervous system's language: you stop fighting your own biology and start working with it.

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But the deepest transformation happens when you realise that your nervous system has been giving you sophisticated health signals all along. The fatigue after certain social interactions. The way your sleep changes with work stress. The connection between your digestion and your emotional state.

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Your polyvagal system provides real-time feedback about what supports your long-term health and what undermines it.